do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
