Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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