We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
