At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
