yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
