Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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