she woke up with a sticky ear
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
