were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she looked like the before picture.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
