the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
