just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
