Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
