Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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