ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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