He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
