Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
