Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
