Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
