Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
