You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm at about main and main street
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
