honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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