Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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