just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
