Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
