Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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