when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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