The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
