Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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