My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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