So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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