Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
