Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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