Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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