i wish starbucks made bloody marys
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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