How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
