she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
