what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
