we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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