Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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