Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
