Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize