I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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