Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.