I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.