id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.