Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
