Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
