Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
