she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
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look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
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I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I see more hoeing in ur future
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