Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
