I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
