Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
