Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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