You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Non-Jews are for practice
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
