you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
