SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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