i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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