my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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