I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
