Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize