I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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