just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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