Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize